Adoption Day!

It's hard to believe, but one year ago today Mason officially adopted Gavin! 


While Gavin is only half adopted, the day that his adoption became official is special for us. I think that it is important that he always knows what adoption means for our family and that it is something we are proud of. For me, it's an occasion to celebrate! Being that I don't know anyone else who is adopted or has adopted, I'm not sure if/how other families celebrate their adoption day, but I knew I wanted to start a family tradition for us. 

So I got a little gift that I knew the boys would love and enjoy together: LEGO! We celebrated it on the weekend since we had lots of free time together. It was so simple and so sweet. 

I love creating new family traditions!

Have you ever heard of Adoption Day celebrations? I'd love to hear how other people celebrate the occasion. :)

Surprise! An Awesome Feature

I just found out yesterday that a post I wrote was featured on Rage Against the Minivan a couple days ago! In case you've never encountered the blog, Kristen is the author and she writes about adoption, parenting, style, and lots of other inspiring stuff. She runs an ongoing series where readers write posts about adoption based on the statement "what I want you to know". I submitted a piece a long time ago, I barely remembered that I wrote it and it just showed up a couple days ago. All of the comments were absolutely lovely and I was really flattered by Kristen's tweet:

Anyways, enough of my gushing. Click here to read the article, and if you don't know about our story, you can read all about it here. And you know what's funny? Commenters said over and over how Gavin has his dad's eyes. I just wrote a post about that a few days ago that is coming up soon. :)


Anything exciting happen to you this week?

This and That

Do you ever have weekends that flash by so fast, you're left wondering if they ever happened? I had one of those this week. It was a good one though and that is all that matters. Some interesting stuff that may or may not interest you happened over the last week and I feel like sharing it!

First off, remember my personal story series? I wrote it a while after the adoption process had begun, and then waited a while to start publishing it. I figured it had to be all done by then, but it wasn't. So we finally got the final papers in the mail last week and as of July 4, Gavin now shares a family name with his dad! The court chose to do that for us, but I'm glad it happened. I know it means a lot to the whole family.

we even got a super yummy edible arrangement as a congratulations gift from Mason's parents!

The second thing that happened is that I got my much anticipated letter from the university. I applied for the education program this year (I had to do two years of university before I could even apply) and I didn't get in! That was a bit of a bummer, but I'm ok with it. The subject I applied for is ridiculously competitive and it obviously just isn't time yet. I am glad it happened, though, because it gave me a reason to reevaluate my program a bit and I think there are some changes I can make to better prepare me for when I get into education.


Anyways, enough of the school talk. Gavin also got his very first invite to a friend's birthday party, so we got to do that yesterday. It was funny going to an event where we knew no one because Gavin was the one invited! It was also funny because we were so obviously the youngest parents there. It was a good time anyways. The kids got to play in one of those inflatable bouncing toys and go swimming in the lake. Needless to say, Gavin had a great nap afterwards!

And this week I don't have many hours for work, so hopefully I'll get some good blogging done!

Has anything exciting happened with you lately?

A Personal Story, part 9

After Gavin's birth, time flew by. We spent three days in the hospital and had tons of wonderful visitors. Somehow it still feels like yesterday. Yep, even though Gavin's cute face and beautiful blue eyes might suggest otherwise, he's not Mason's biological son (that's right, people comment on how much he looks like his dad way more than they do about his mom).

He was the first person (other than the medical staff) to hold Gavin in his arms. Since day one, he has been the best Daddy that Gavin could ever have. His parents have been amazing grandparents, his brother an amazing uncle and all the rest of his family has been more loving, accepting and supportive than I could have ever dreamed.

Sometimes we worried about our situation. Mason was Gavin's dad in every single way, but one, and that one doesn't matter at all to us. Unfortunately, that one little way is what matters to the law. While it meant absolutely nothing to the way we lived, it meant that there was the possibility of a biological parent with rights down the road. Every now and then, this possibility seemed closer than others, but in April 2010 we finally saw J again. It turned out that he was supportive of our situation and only wanted to meet Gavin once.

That leads me to the news...

Mason is now Gavin's dad in every way that matters to us and every way that matters to the law! While the adoption is just an arbitrary legal procedure, it makes me really happy. Mason has been so amazing and I'm so thankful to have him as a part of our lives and he now has all the recognition he deserves.

I hope you enjoyed our story. As a child, I certainly never imagined my family this way, but it is better than I could have ever dreamed. I have learned so much about what makes a family, which is of course, love above all else. I'm sure that our story will make for some interesting moments later in life, but I believe that things have turned out the best way they could have...
Besides, I was never much of a planner!

In case you missed anything:

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9

A Personal Story, part 8

My water broke at 3 a.m. on January 24, 2009. Mason was moving back to Regina that morning, and it looked like the baby would be coming the same day. My mom drove the 45 minutes into town to take me to the hospital at 3:00 a.m. (it just had to be my mom, even though my dad and step-mom were just upstairs)! We went to the hospital, but were sent home. While my water had broken, I wasn't actually having contractions yet. Mom and I went for a 6:00 a.m. breakfast and then went home to try and get some sleep. I managed to get about four hours of sleep until my contractions were too uncomfortable to sleep through. Then came the waiting game.

Gavin's birthday, Dad offered to take one last picture of pregnant me.

I got myself ready to go the hospital and then tried to relax while I waited for Mason. He kept me updated on his activities and by the middle of the afternoon he finally came over. We tried to take it easy and spend some time together, but my contractions kept getting worse. At 5:00 p.m. we went to the hospital, this time to stay. I didn't get a labor room, but instead they just put me in a bed separated by a little curtain from a bunch of other beds. My contractions hurt a lot, and kept getting more intense. The nurse was monitoring Gavin's heart rate, and seemed a little concerned. She called in another nurse, and they just stood and stared at the machine. They got me to move around, then take oxygen. Then they called my doctor in. At this point, the three of them just stood and stared at the monitor. They didn't give us a lot of information, probably because they didn't want to worry us. My contractions were now about 90 seconds long without actual breaks in between, but I was nowhere near ready to have the baby.

Finally my doctor broke the news. My baby's heart rate was dropping extremely low and not recovering very well because of my contractions. We could wait it out, but it would probably be another 10-14 hours of labor and even then a c-section might be inevitable. So a c-section it was. I was terrified, but things moved very quickly. An amazing nurse in the operating room made things like needles in the back a lot easier. Mason was with me the whole time and when Gavin was born, Mason was the first family member to hold Gavin. We laughed and cried, and Mason went with Gavin to the nursery and shared the news with our families.

January 24, 2009

the final chapter... next week...

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Part 9

A Personal Story, part 7

Summer 2008 with Mason flew by and suddenly, it was the last weekend before Mason had to return to school. I was spending as much time as I could with him before those times were over. The last day he hung out with his friends we were all at his house, they had a few drinks in them, and I {obviously} didn't. We were hinting at things that night that we hadn't talked about yet, and I was just dying to hear more. I had wanted to say three particular words to him for a while, but I held my tongue - I didn't want to make it complicated. Finally, we snuck away into a separate room to talk. I told him I loved him, and he said he loved me too. My heart nearly jumped right out of my chest. He kept talking, and I could barely breathe as I listened... "you..me...together.. baby... together... adoption... family..." I was totally blown away. The night ended and I cautiously brought the topic up the next morning. Was it the drinks talking?

August 2008

Absolutely not. He wasn't going to make any life changing decisions on the spot, but I now knew what he was thinking. Over the following months we talked all the time. He couldn't be there for my ultrasound, but I called him right away to tell him it was a BOY!

The first time I saw Gavin. He wouldn't show his face! September 2008

We saw each other when we could, and he finally decided that he was going to be with the baby and I. I wasn't there when he broke the news to the people closest to him, but we can imagine that it would be interesting. I finished work just before Christmas 2008 so I could spend the holiday with Mason and my family. He only had a couple weeks of school left after the break and I only had a couple weeks of pregnancy left. It was exciting and a little nerve-wracking, but luckily Mason finished school and was all packed to go home (and I was still pregnant) on January 23, 2009. He and his parents would be making the trip back the next morning and my due date was four days away.

2 weeks before Gavin was born.

At 3:00 a.m. on January 24, 2009, my water broke. I woke up and realized what had happened and I didn't know what to do. What else does a girl do when she has no clue what to do? Yep, I called my mom. Then my doctor, then Mason. Suddenly, things were even more intense. Mason was moving back to Regina that morning, and it looked like the baby would be coming the same day.

to be continued...

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Part 9

A Personal Story, part 6

My dad and my sister were next to get the news of my pregnancy. I'm not sure which made me more nervous. Not only did I have to tell my dad that I got pregnant and was going to be a single mother, but I also had to ask if I could move back in. Again. Funny enough, when I broke the news his reaction was pretty much, "Oh, ok". It seems that almost nothing really shocks my dad into showing a big reaction. With my sister, it was a little complicated. There was a lot of stuff that was left unsaid when it came to my involvement with J and some had been said when I attempted to get back together with him. But I dropped the bomb over a big plate of dessert and she took it well. I even got to go to her place afterwards so we could share the news of impending uncle-dom on my brother-in-law.

After I broke the news to my immediate family members, things got a little easier. I started sharing the news with more people, and that helped everything feel more normal. I was confused about what my future looked like, but it was a waiting game.

Tara and I at her convocation, June 2008

Then, in June 2008, Mason got in touch with me over Facebook because I had some stuff of his. I went out to the cabin he was renting at a beach outside the city to give it back and hang out with him. We had a fun day walking around and relaxing, but I knew I had to bring my pregnancy up - I wanted to be the one to tell him, rather than the rumor mill. I thought he would be strange about it, but he wasn't. He was supportive and said that I had to let him meet the little person someday. And somehow, after everything, sparks flew again.

August 2008

Mason and I didn't see each other again for a couple of weeks. I saw J in that time and he tried to be involved in my life again, but it was too little, too late... And it didn't take long for his temper to flare up once I told him that. When Mason and I spoke next, he was back in the city. We hung out occasionally and had some really good times. As the summer went on, we spent more and more time together. I was having so much fun that I decided to just let things happen. I knew that the summer would end and he would go back to school in another city, so I focused on the moment instead of the potential heartbreak in my future. But that summer flew by so quickly, my sister got married, and I fell in love.

Tara and Jacob's Wedding, August 2008

to be continued...

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A Personal Story, part 5

When I took a pregnancy test to clear any worries about my irregular cycle, I was SHOCKED to see a second line. My jaw was on the floor. I was a confused, blubbering mess. All of my ambitious energy turned into nervous energy. What was I going to do? What did this mean? Why today, of all days?

Yep, I took a picture of it!

After a few minutes of insanity, I gathered my composure. I decided that I should confirm the positive before anything else, and I also had to be at work soon. I went to a walk-in clinic near my work and asked the doctor to confirm my pregnancy. He did a quick test and announced, "Congratulations, you're pregnant!". I gave him a quick smile and went to work. I was distracted, to say the least. I felt like I would explode if I didn't tell someone. So I cornered a friend I knew I could trust and told her the news. She was totally shocked too, but I don't know if I would have survived that shift at work if I hadn't told her.

my life-saver and I, 2008

I knew I had to tell J right away, but it took until the next night to get ahold of him. I told him the news and he suggested (repeatedly) that I get an abortion. While this pregnancy was the last thing I had expected at the age of 19, I would never even consider an abortion. He then suggested adoption, and then finally said I had his support and that I should move back in. I agreed and arranged to give up my apartment the next month. The only thing left was to start sharing the news, which I was pretty nervous about. My mom, who always seems to know my next move didn't see this one coming. I broke the news over lunch one day. She guessed that I would be moving back in with J, but not that there would be a baby on the way. But then before I had a chance to let any other family in on the situation, things changed again.

J was a little flaky after I told him the news, we spent some time together after he found out, but he made it clear that he needed a little space while everything was still sinking in. This was obviously strange since he had just demanded that I move in, but I went with it. And then came the email. He said there was someone else and that he wanted nothing to do with me or my child. In short, I tried to change his mind, I tried to find some middle ground, but there was no negotiating.

to be continued...

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A Personal Story, part 4

I spent the first three months of 2008 living like a single 19 year old. I drank a lot of alcohol, did a little bit of other stuff and enjoyed the attention I got from guys. Mason and I hung out sometimes, until April 2008 when I opened up the lines of communication with J again. Somehow I let myself fall in the same trap all over. This time, my family didn't pretend to be ok with it. They didn't actively try to stop me from doing something that was totally my own choice, but they were honest about their feelings. The relationship worked well for a couple weeks, and then it deteriorated quickly. He couldn't come to terms with the ways I had expressed my freedom in the months that we were broken up and he finally decided to stop trying at the end of May. I was upset, but instead of taking it badly I decided to use it to my advantage.

January-April 2008 in a nutshell

In the few weeks that we had been back together, I had taken a step back from the crazy party lifestyle that I had been into in the previous months. I had also had to come to terms with some things I had done, and I started to be honest about them. I know I haven't really mentioned this yet, but it was a theme for me throughout my teen years. I was a liar. I found it much easier to do bad things that I wanted to do and then lie about it, than to tell the truth or do good things. I became a pretty good liar, but even good liars get caught eventually. Beginning in April 2008, I started on the road to honesty.

April 2008

So on May 30th, 2008, I decided I wanted to start taking care of myself. That meant being independent from guys altogether, and having more honest relationships with everyone around me. I decided to get rid of whatever was causing me to be doubtful or distracted. I had an idea that I was a little "late" so I decided that was one thing I should clear up. My cycle wasn't the most regular and I had been late and taken a pregnancy test before (which had been negative, of course). It would be the same this time, but the ten wasted dollars would be worth the reassurance. So I rinsed the tears off my face, put on a good attitude and went to the drug store to pick up a pregnancy test. I took it home, followed the instructions and left it alone for a few minutes. I came back and picked it up.

It was positive.

to be continued...

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A Personal Story, part 3

In the fall of that year (2007) J and I took a month off of work and moved out to a cabin 45 minutes out of town. We did some fun stuff, and some not so great (drug) stuff. When we got back into the city, something was different. I went back to work at the restaurant and it became the source of the fights that seemed to happen almost daily. One November evening, I came home from work to the usual argument about alcohol and friends. He accused me of being drunk, of cheating on him, called me all sorts of names. I argued back, he walked away, I followed and kept trying to explain myself. Upstairs, I sat down on the bed next to him, trying to get through to him, and he shoved me off the bed. I tumbled heels over head and landed on my back, then he stood up and kicked me down as I tried to get up.

I left.

I called my dad and asked him if I could stay at his house for a while. This was the start of a weird transition period for me. I decided that I was finally going to be single and define myself without a male partner. I was finally able to have real friendships with the great people I met at work. I started going out a lot with them. One night after being out with a friend from work, we were looking for somewhere to hang out. We were going to go over to  another girl's house, but then she said Mason was there and he didn't want to see me. But this friend has a way with people and changed their minds.

Said friend and myself, 2008.

So after over a year of not speaking, I ended up in the same room with Mason. It was weird. We were all drinking though, so it helped ease the tension. From then on, we would see each other now and then. He was living three hours away going to school, but came back often on weekends. We had some mutual friends, so it was a given that we would end up in the same places. I moved out of my dad's house at the end of 2007 and I saw J on and off (mostly because I had never fully moved all of my things out of his place...including my cat... and some of these things we would fight over). After a final confrontation, I moved the rest of my things out of his house and we cut all contact with each other.

Mason and I, February 2008.

to be continued...

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A Personal Story, part 2

After Mason and I started dating, we had a lot of fun. We also got into trouble, as teenagers do, with drugs, alcohol and whatever else. Through Mason I was introduced to a guy who we'll call J. He and I started talking online and we hung out a couple times. I thought he was interesting because he seemed to know a lot of very different things and he was into some bad stuff that I was interested in at the time. He was a weird person to have as a friend, so our friendship was kind of "on and off". Mason and I kept dating until the summer time,  and we went to my grad together.

Mason and I at my high school graduation, June 2006

We both got our own apartments in a trendier part of town, just a couple blocks away from each other.  I hung out with J a little more and I opened one too many new doors with him. I got even more "adventurous" with drug use with him and that lead to a change in our relationship. Mason and I broke up and we didn't speak for over a year.

This was a pattern for me, I had always been involved with a guy since my first year of high school. When somebody new would come along, there was never much of a space in between boyfriends, it became a part of who I was. I didn't know who I was without someone with me. So 6 months after the break up with Mason, I moved in with J. I was so wrapped up in the relationship that I didn't see what was going on around me. I strained or just got lazy with my relationships to family and friends. I just couldn't see it at the time.

After living with J for a couple months, I got a new job as a server at BPs. He hated it from the beginning, for no good reason. I met so many great people there, but it was hard to develop friendships when I was trying so hard to keep up with J. He didn't see any room in my life for those people, so I kept those friendships to work time.

Me (centre) and three girls I served with at BPs

to be continued....

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Part 7

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Part 9

A Personal Story, part 1

I've decided to tell you guys a personal story about me as a way to work up to some happy news that's on the way (sorry, mom, I'm not pregnant). While I started this blog to be a crafty place, I find it hard not to share pieces of myself on here too. I suppose it is my space after all, so I can say all I want and if you're not into it, you just won't be reading.

What is this all about? Well, I want to tell you the story of my little family. It's not a normal one and I'm perfectly happy to have it that way. And at the end of this series, I'll let you know the full reason why I did this series, so let's get on with it!

I'll give you a little background info on my family because I think it's important. I was born into an amazing family. I have a sister who is two years older than me and a wonderful mom and dad. They have always been the most fantastic people I could have ever asked to be surrounded with. When I was 5, my parents decided to split up. While many people see this sort of thing as a sad event, it has worked out to be wonderful. Life went on and a few years later my dad ended up with a fantastic lady, my step-mom, Denise. I was also fortunate enough to have a wonderful step-dad, and he will always hold a special place in my heart even though he doesn't technically hold that title anymore. Basically, I have been blessed with a great family even if they aren't necessarily related to me by blood, or other usual family ties.

Mom and her other grandson, Ben....Gavin with Dad & Denise... Jacob, Ben and Tara

Now what I was meaning to get at, was my own little family: Mason, Gavin and I. Mason and I met when I was in grade 11 and he was in grade 12. We had a math class together. I didn't have any good friends in the class and Mason ended up being made to sit with me because he and his friends were a little too disruptive. I commented on his handwriting and we started to talk a little and we started chatting online (because that's what we all did back then, haha). We started to hang out, and flirt... You know where this is going right? But he didn't ask me out and so after a couple months we just went our separate ways. I went back to the safety of my old boyfriend and he went on living like a single high school senior. Somehow we reconnected and in the fall after he graduated, he finally asked me out.

The earliest photo I could find of us together [December 2005].
Unfortunately,  I was a teenager and wasn't necessarily taking nice photos.

To be continued...

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Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9