thoughts on twenty-four

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

24. So young, but old in a way. Not old, but kind of a surprisingly high number, you know?

I have a funny relationship with my age these days. 
Twenty-four in so young - so young to be settled, to have a three and a half year old child. 
So young to feel as old as I do at times because twenty-four is older than I thought I would be for some of the things I am doing right now  and to still be so far from knowing who I am and what I want my life to be.

I think I'm starting to understand why, in her mid-forties, my mom would say, "I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up". I suspect that people generally don't feel like the person they thought they would be at their current age. 

Twenty-four feels old because I remember being eighteen, nineteen & twenty, looking at people the age I am now and seeing them as much older, wiser and worldly. But who am I kidding, I don't feel at all like they seemed to me then.

I took a look in the mirror the other day and I saw wrinkles... ok not wrinkles, but lines. 
Lines that mark the faces I have made so many times that they are becoming a permanent part of me. 
Lines that are the same as my mother's, the same as my father's. 

And after a milla-second of vain anxiety, I felt proud.

Getting older truly is a privilege.

[yep, I'm 24 today  :)  thanks for reading]

1 wonderful comments:

Mom said...

Not only are you beautiful at 24, you are very wise. You are not only wise for your age, you are wise for any age. I am so incredibly proud of you!!