A Personal Story, part 5

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

When I took a pregnancy test to clear any worries about my irregular cycle, I was SHOCKED to see a second line. My jaw was on the floor. I was a confused, blubbering mess. All of my ambitious energy turned into nervous energy. What was I going to do? What did this mean? Why today, of all days?

Yep, I took a picture of it!
After a few minutes of insanity, I gathered my composure. I decided that I should confirm the positive before anything else, and I also had to be at work soon. I went to a walk-in clinic near my work and asked the doctor to confirm my pregnancy. He did a quick test and announced, "Congratulations, you're pregnant!". I gave him a quick smile and went to work. I was distracted, to say the least. I felt like I would explode if I didn't tell someone. So I cornered a friend I knew I could trust and told her the news. She was totally shocked too, but I don't know if I would have survived that shift at work if I hadn't told her.
my life-saver and I, 2008
I knew I had to tell J right away, but it took until the next night to get ahold of him. I told him the news and he suggested (repeatedly) that I get an abortion. While this pregnancy was the last thing I had expected at the age of 19, I would never even consider an abortion. He then suggested adoption, and then finally said I had his support and that I should move back in. I agreed and arranged to give up my apartment the next month. The only thing left was to start sharing the news, which I was pretty nervous about. My mom, who always seems to know my next move didn't see this one coming. I broke the news over lunch one day. She guessed that I would be moving back in with J, but not that there would be a baby on the way. But then before I had a chance to let any other family in on the situation, things changed again.

J was a little flaky after I told him the news, we spent some time together after he found out, but he made it clear that he needed a little space while everything was still sinking in. This was obviously strange since he had just demanded that I move in, but I went with it. And then came the email. He said there was someone else and that he wanted nothing to do with me or my child. In short, I tried to change his mind, I tried to find some middle ground, but there was no negotiating.

to be continued...

4 wonderful comments:

Emily said...

How did I miss this until now? Wow - I am riveted by your honesty. Thanks for sharing this and I can't wait to see where it's going!

Erica @ Acire Adventures said...

Thank you, Emily! :)

Anonymous said...

WoW I just read your story and I know how you feel. I went almost through the same but I was actually 18 when I got pregnant with a guy that had a lot of issues. I hope everything works out for you :)

Erica @ Acire Adventures said...

Thanks for your lovely comment, Maria! I think that 'abnormal' family situations are a lot more common than people think. It's nice to know there are other people who have been through these situations and are better for it now. Thanks for reading! :)