Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Since moving away from my hometown three years ago, I've often contemplated what "home" really means. 

At first, home was most certainly Regina and Lethbridge was temporary - a sojourn. But three years in, both places are home and Lethbridge has become the primary. 

Regina is where we're from, but Lethbridge is the home of my family. It's where we built our life together. 

Mason and I were only together for one year in Regina, living together for just over half of that and Gavin was only with us for seven months there. At 45 months old, the vast majority of Gavin's life has been in Lethbridge. The rhythm of our family was composed in Lethbridge, and we can feel the dissonance when we go "home" to Regina. 

We long for Regina, or at least the people who are there, but we cling to the steady rhythm of Lethbridge. Sometimes I worry about leaving - I selfishly fear how much we'll have to share each other when we move back. Other times I miss it so much - the cousin that Gavin should get to play with weekly, the friends and family that should know our family much better than they do now.

My sister emailed me the other day with a bit of a conversation she had with my two year old nephew. It reminded me that the joy of being close to family will far outweigh any slight loss of "us three" time when we go back to Regina.

Ben: Gavin's far away.
Tara: Yes, Gavin lives far away.
Ben: Miss Gavin.
Tara: You miss Gavin?
Ben: Yeah.

1 wonderful comments:

Mom said...

I had never thought of it that way. I guess there are pros and cons to living in either place. One thing I do know is that when you move back to Regina, you should have more time for just you and Mason. It is very important to nurture your relationship separately from your entire family's relationship. That is something I learned first hand as many have. As far as your 'us three' time, you will just have to make sure you get enough of it. When others demand your time or that of Mason or Gavin, you will have to learn to say no sometimes. We will all understand. Luv ya.